For family members who observe an individual’s cognitive changes, it can be challenging to convince the individual to schedule a doctor’s appointment. Family and friends often call our Helpline because they are worried about a loved one and struggling with refusal to see a doctor.

Reluctance to See a Doctor

People experiencing cognitive impairment may refuse to see a doctor for many reasons, including fear and anxiety. Refusal to see a doctor can be a result of changes in the brain. The medical term anosognosia describes a condition in which damage to the brain causes the individual to be unaware of their cognitive impairments. In other words, this may not be denial of symptoms; instead, it may be the inability to recognize cognitive impairments as the result of changes occurring in the brain. Here are some strategies for addressing reluctance to see a doctor:

Strategy – Don’t argue; acknowledge the person’s reality. Try framing the request as helping you ease your own worries.

Example – “I know you are healthy, and you feel you don’t need to see a doctor, but I would feel so much better after seeing the doctor.”

Strategy – If the individual is feeling anxious about memory changes, validate those feelings and offer reassurance.

Example – “You seem worried about these changes. We will get through this together” or “Let’s ask the doctor if your medications [or hearing difficulties, blood pressure, etc.] could be responsible for your symptoms.”

Strategy – Schedule an appointment for both of you and emphasize your own health needs.

Example – “I need to see the doctor today. Will you go with me?” or “Let’s get our annual appointments done together.”

Strategy – Add an enjoyable event after the appointment.

Example – “After the doctor we will get lunch at our favorite restaurant” or “Let’s make plans to see our grandkids after the appointment.”

Other Strategies

  • Ask the doctor’s office to call and schedule an appointment with the person for a check-up, medication check, flu shot, etc.
  • Ask the pharmacist to tell the person they must see the doctor to refill a prescription.
  • Explain that you both see your doctor once a year as part of Medicare’s Annual Wellness Visit.

Getting to the Doctor’s Office

Here are some tips that may help make the trip to the doctor’s office a little easier:

  • Some people become anxious before an appointment if they are told too far in advance. Let your loved one know you are going to the doctor on the day of the visit. Take the emphasis off the doctor by focusing on an enjoyable activity planned for after the appointment.
  • Bring an extra person along to help while you drive and, if needed, occupy the person while waiting for the appointment.
  • If you think you will be waiting in the doctor’s office, call ahead and inform the nurse and/or doctor in advance about the person’s behavior. Bring distractions along such as snacks, books, or pictures.
  • Although it is rare, some doctors or nurse practitioners will make home visits. A nurse practitioner or visiting nurse service may be able to do an assessment and report to the physician for non-emergency issues. Call our Helpline for a list of physicians in New Jersey who provide home visits.

General Tips

  • Remember each person is different. Unfortunately, there is no one-size-fits-all solution.
  • Respond to feelings. If your loved one appears fearful or anxious about the doctor, validate their feelings and provide reassurance.
  • Call the doctor’s office before the appointment. Try to speak privately with the doctor about your observations and explain the individual’s apprehension about seeing the doctor.
  • Keep a log and bring it to the visit. Prior to the appointment, write down your observations and be specific. Include a list of all medications, including vitamins and over-the-counter drugs. Have pen and paper handy to take notes during the visit.
  • Maintain reasonable expectations. Getting a diagnosis often takes multiple doctor’s visits including meeting with specialists, like a neurologist, geriatric psychiatrist, neuropsychologist, etc. Even the best doctors may not have answers to all your questions, but if a doctor regularly brushes off questions, symptoms, or other concerns, consider finding another doctor.

Call our Helpline – 888-280-6055, to discuss reluctance to see a doctor or any other concerns you may have.